Frustration! I hear the word daily. My clients tell me they're frustrated about this and frustrated about that. And The Frustration List seems to be getting longer, not shorter. For my clients, I have prepared a few ideas to deal with this F-word called frustration, along with feedback from job seekers regarding some of their frustrations -- they're in bold below. Feel free to add your own positive, constructive F-word to this list and pass it along if you like...
F irst, clear your head about the past and deal with today's reality which is to start over, even though you "never dreamed things would be like this."
F orgive yourself, the former boss, business unit, executive team, HR, the recruiter, corporate, or whomever else you might blame for your plight..."Why did they let me go after all the years I gave to them?"
F ocus on what you need to do and do it. Don't keep talking, fretting and stewing about what you need to do...just do something - today. No one else can do this for you. (I am shocked that it's this tough to find a new job.)
F ear not, for that will only stymie you and stall you. (Some days I feel absolutely paralyzed by fear and how I'll pay the bills.)
F rank Robinson quote: "Pitchers did me a favor when they knocked me down. It made me more determined. I wouldn't let that pitcher get me out. They say you can't hit if you're on your back, but I didn't hit on my back. I got up."
F aith in self and others that you will find a new opportunity, even though it might not be exactly what you had in mind. (If I hadn't lost my job, I never would have started my business.)
F iddle around with some new ideas and different thinking. If you think you have exhausted all ideas, ask someone, anyone...how do you get ideas? (So overwhelmed, I sit at the computer and draw a complete blank.)
F lat out refuse to give up or quit trying or stay stuck. (It's been five months and I have no idea where to turn or what to do next.)
F ind someone who cares about you, who will listen to you whine and complain and then like (love) you enough to kick you in the backside to get up, get out and get going. (All I want to do is hide -- the idea of going to one more networking event -- ugh!)
F ace the reality that the job you had may not be the job you'll have in the future. (I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up - I'm 47 and jobless.)
F igure out a plan and a goal for each day and then execute. At day's end, evaluate. (When I was working, I knew what was expected of me...now it's up to me and I'm lost.)
F lip negative thoughts to positive ones. On a piece of paper, make a list of 25 positive things you can do (that don't cost $$$) when you find yourself getting down, discouraged and depressed. (These past few months, my self-esteem has evaporated and I don't feel like me anymore.)
F orget about what was and focus on what can be in the tomorrows of your life. (I always thought I'd retire from XYZ, so now what?")
F ailures and flops can produce fantastic and fabulous results in the future. (I am so afraid of failing -- again.)
F ree yourself of messages and scripts that don't work anymore and realize that it's Have Skills - Will Travel! (No one told me that the rules changed.)
Fire up with enthusiasm and energy. No matter how many cheerleaders you have on your side, finding your own internal drive, determination, motivation and perseverance rests within you. (I am exhausted, overwhelmed and have no interest in doing any of this...)
F uel your engine by helping someone else -- your buddy, your friend, your neighbor, a former colleague. Reach out; volunteer. (Couldn't stand staying at home feeling sorry for myself...volunteered a few hours per week at a place and they knew somebody who needed someone like me -- that's how I got hired!)
FRUSTRATION is your foe, not your friend, when you are desperately and diligently trying to find that next new thing...what is your biggest frustration right now in your job search?
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