In my work, I meet so many wonderful people. Some clients I’ve known and had ongoing business relationships with since 1985. Some of my clients have become very close friends. Some of my clients have passed away and left a permanent dent in my heart and in my life. A few of my clients I have written poems for and recited them at their memorial service.
As a career management professional, I get to be a part of so many interesting career-related things – and sometimes those things make me step up, stretch and grow and get out of the safety of my comfort zone. You know, think about things you’d rather not think about. Or talk about things you’d rather not talk about. But you do, anyway.
Take, for example, one of my long-standing clients -- we’ll name him ‘Jeb’. Jeb has made a coaching appointment with me like clockwork every 4 – 8 weeks since the late 1990’s. He always has a goal he wishes to work on. He is always prepared. He always has a purpose for his visit. Throughout the duration of our business relationship, he has been gainfully employed, yet always invests in himself regarding some career-related matter worthy of his attention.
Our most recent work together is that of writing his eulogy. Previously, in 2010, we wrote his mother’s eulogy in preparation for that day down the road when it will be needed. This is the poem he’ll read when that day arrives to celebrate his mother’s life.
Eulogy, huh? Yes, you read it correctly – eulogy. My client is very much alive, in excellent health and has chosen to get the writing underway for his ‘final story’. In the calm and quiet of my office he ‘thinks out loud’ and I record and ‘fix’ (his word) his thoughts that will be used one day…yet to be determined.
Several years ago, I discovered one of my favorite career books – In Transition from the Harvard Business School Club of New York’s Career Management Seminar. And guess what I stumbled upon in Chapter 5, page 43 of said book?
Your Best-Case Eulogy Exercise
The thing about writing your eulogy while you are living is that it affords you a chance to consider (or reconsider) how you wish to live your present and future. While there’s no delete button or strikethrough on what’s already happened in your past, (um, I don’t think there’s an app or upgrade for that?) you can indeed rewrite, reshape and rework your future if you choose. For instance,
Where you were born: Established fact. Can’t change it.
When you were born: Established fact. Can’t change it.
The person(s) who raised you: Established fact. Can’t change it.
The place(s) you grew up. Established fact. Can’t change it.
The schools you attended during your ‘growing up’ years, 5 – 18. Established fact. Can’t change it.
Where you’ve been, what you’ve done to date…done deal; can’t change it.
And then along comes now – the present – maybe you’re at the age of 19, or 28, or 34, 43, 52, 64, 75, 88…how will your present and future life story go? Where are you headed?
Your now: change is possible if you choose…
Your future: change is possible if you choose…
Your final story: waiting for you to you to fill-in-the-blanks…
Homework questions to ponder:
What, if anything, do you know you need to be doing right now that you’re not?
Who or what needs your attention this day, this moment, this hour?
What have you been putting off for another day?
What’s one career step worthy of taking immediately?
What is one slight change you can make for the better?
What do you hope someone will be reading about you one day?
What do you want people to hear when the time comes to celebrate your life?
What, if anything, would you like to change between now and then….a date yet to be determined.
How would you like to be remembered?
Meanwhile, Jeb and I have a good start on his eulogy…the first three paragraphs are written in rough-draft format awaiting his review and approval when we get together next time…
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