Billie Sucher Blog

Tend To Your Own Knittin'

As a job seeker, do you find yourself caught up in the comparison game? You know how it goes because you have heard it all before…

~ he has a VP title now

~ she has her MBA

~ he’s an industry leader

~ she has charisma

~ he has youth on his side

~ she has such wisdom

~ he has good looks

~ she’s got brains

~ he drives a Range Rover

~ he has a degree

~ she knows technology

~ he got another promotion

~ she got a big raise

~ he’s really connected

~ she’s knows the right people

~ he travels the world

~ she found a job 

And on and on and on it goes. Do you ever find yourself in a comparison game with other job seekers? If you do, I would invite you at this very moment to stop -- stop comparing yourself to other people. And do yourself a big favor and do so now instead of later. Why? Because it is exhausting. It is overwhelming. It is mind-boggling. And, as my client so succinctly put it:

“The comparison thing is one of life’s absolute energy sucks.” 

You are you. You are not Ben or Tom or Jessica or Denise. You have gifts. You have talents. Many of them. You have your own wonderful qualities. You have your own assets. And as it goes in the job hunt world, along with your assets, you no doubt have some liabilities. I’ve met but a handful of people in my years as a career management professional who described themselves as a perfect 10.  As a job seeker in today's intensely competitive market, it is vitally important to identify both your brand's pluses -- and minuses -- so you know exactly what you are dealing with as you embark upon the career transition process.

The next time you find yourself wandering over into the comparison pasture, simply stop in your tracks and repeat: I will take this comparison energy and invest it fully into my own life and continued career success. I will not dwell on matters that serve no useful purpose for me, my family and my future. 

The next time you find yourself caught up in the comparison game, perhaps you will reflect upon the following words from one of the best teachers I ever had:

Tend to your own knitting. 

Five simple words.

27 characters.

For you. 

Today.

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Transitions: Back to School, Off to College

Clients always bring up interesting topics. Upon completing our work together the other day, my client was saying how she was both happy and sad about taking her son off to college. I so remember those feelings. A few years ago, I wrote this poem for our son as he entered his sophomore year of college:

 

ON SOPHOMORE

And so I tasted the wind

the smell hinted of Fall

I knew time was drawing near

as she hastened her call.

 

How do you pause a moment

on permanent delay or hold

as you see life stretch before you

while the stories unfold?

 

There's no turning back

only onward each day.

So blessed by your presence

and I know you can't stay.

 

Why am I so weepy

Like the swishing willow tree?

It was only just yesterday

You bounced on my knee.

 

How do you tell your child

no longer a little one

that you're joyous beyond imagination

for most things he's done?

 

So the hours count down

and the clock ticks away

It won't be long now

and you'll be on your way.

 

And I'll be just fine,

with but a hiccup or two

Watching from the distance

the wonderful things that you do.

 

Wishing you a stellar year

of learning and fun

On stand-by if you need me

while you go and get it done.

copyright 2004 by billie sucher

Would You Buy A Lemon of A Car?

You can tell a child is growing up when he stops asking where he came from and starts refusing to tell where he is going.  ~ Author Unknown

When our children were little and growing up, I drove a verrrrry loooooooooooooooooong station wagon (SW)  that I did not like – evah! Not that I wasn’t grateful, I just didn’t like the brand, the car, the shape, the style, the anything about it, but I drove it for many years anyway. During a visit to The Windy City, not far from Wrigley Field, I spied a car that I thought was the most beautiful car I’d ever seen. I scribbled the car’s name on a piece of paper, later to look it up on the Internet. While I chose not to invest in a new one, I started saving money for a competitively-priced used vehicle of this particular variety.

During this time, I also befriended a local auto dealership representative that marketed and sold the specific product line that I aspired to own. As you enter the dealership, visitors go one way for new cars and another for pre-owned. I was advised not to say used, so now I say pre-owned. Also, I was advised not to say used car salesman --  I am to say car sales professional or car sales specialist. So, I met a car sales person whose name was the same as a former USA president’s – which was good because it was always easy to remember him.

When I met the car sales pro with the former President’s name, I gave him a list of the specifications that I wanted in my new used pre-owned car. I asked that he please not contact me with any other makes, models, equipment, etc. as I knew what I wanted and when he found it, I would buy it. We had already established a price range I was willing to invest in said product.  14 months later, I got a phone call from the pre-owned car pro – they had a match! Woo hoo! Peace out and bye-bye SW!

If you know what you want in a car, you probably have acquired some pretty good instincts and ideas about what you want in a job. Would you buy any car? Would you buy any job? Would you intentionally, purposefully and knowingly buy a lemon of a car? I hope not. Would you buy a lemon of a job? While I would hope that you wouldn’t, I have heard countless stories from clients who do. “I knew the job was all wrong, but I took it anyway because I needed a j-o-b.” (I am not talking about stop-gap or bridge jobs here).

Homework Exercise:

Make a list of the specifics that you would like, desire and prefer in your work. What would you be doing? Who would you be reporting to? Who would you be working with? What activities, tasks and roles would you be performing? What elements would be your favorite? Who would be your ideal customer? How much money would you be generating for your time and talent? Where would the job be located geographically? What type of environment do you wish to maneuver through? What type of work space brings out the best in you and which one brings out the worst in you? How long of a commute, if any, are you willing to make? What would you be contributing? What goals would you be achieving? What skills would you be using? What passions would you tap into and apply? What sacrifices would you be willing to make? And on and on and on – what kind of job do you wish to invest in at this time in your life?

When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio.  If all the stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is shot.  ~ Larry Lujack 

Job Loss Endings and EGBDF

Endings  Endings are hard. Endings are painful. Endings are not easy. Sometimes endings are bad. Sometimes endings make us mad or sad. Other times, endings make us glad. Endings make us uncomfortable. Sometimes endings are good. Sometimes endings bring welcome relief and help us breathe easier again. Sometimes  endings need to happen, whether we like it or not. Sometimes endings challenge us to take a hard look at what’s important – what really matters. Sometimes we’d rather not deal with any part of endings. Endings. 

Yesterday, I went to an auction. An accumulation of years and years of stuff was on display for all to see – and purchase! Among the many items for sale was my Grandmother’s piano – the piano I had ‘played’ when I was a little girl. As I stood there in the driveway looking at the piano, I heard my Grandmother’s voice from many years ago still teaching me …..’Every Good Boy Does Fine’. I played the piano chord I had played over and over as a little girl. I touched the keys for one last time. I thanked Old Piano for letting me play my off key creations which I am certain were not at all music to her ears. 

Not far from the Old Piano was the round, beautiful oak claw-foot table I’d grown up with. How many conversations had taken place around her? How many cakes and pies and goodies and meals had it displayed? How many life changes and goals and wishes and dreams and heartaches had it been privy to? How many tears of happiness and sorrow had found a permanent resting place there?  I took photos of the old oak table as I stood by her and thought about another time in my life. This day, though, I was saying good-bye to her for the very last time. 

As a career management professional, I have coached, counseled, comforted, and consoled many, many people who have lost a job. Losing a job is tough. I know – I have lost one before! Losing a job is a mucky, sucky, yucky time when you find yourself in a sort of no-man’s land – that messy, clouded, confused , chaotic uncertain time between the old job and the new one you know nothing about.  A time when you can’t go back, yet you have no idea how to move forward.

What I have learned time and again from clients regarding their job loss is this:

• Change is certain. If you have never lost a job in your career, you are lucky.
• Starting over is possible and doable if you choose to do so.
• You can move on – it is not easy; you just keep telling yourself that you can and that you must and that you will do your best this day, tomorrow, and the next to put one foot ahead of the other and keep going forward.
• Most likely, you can’t go back or get back what was – your old job. 
• Getting on with life after job loss takes tremendous self-care, courage and conviction. 
• Reaching out is much more effective than reeling in and pulling back.
• Building a transition team of people who are invested in your career success makes good old-fashioned common sense. Teamwork works! 
• Remember the goodness in people and the good times you had in your job.
• Celebrate the best of what was and move forward with an attitude of gratitude and believe that the best is yet to come.
• Make some new music in whatever way you can.  Even if it’s off key, maybe that’s better than not playing at all.
• Create some new conversations and some new stories with people you have yet to meet.
• Decide that you are going to spend more time looking ahead to your tomorrow’s than looking back on your yesterday's.

Are You Too......................?

In my work with clients, I love to listen to their stories, concerns, thoughts, hopes, and dreams. And as it goes, we then get around to talking about stumbling blocks and what, if anything, is getting in the way of moving forward to their target goal – and that’s when the job hunt “too’s” emerge…

I am too afraid of the unknown

I am too broke

I am too busy to look for a job

I am too lazy to put forth the hard work, effort

I am too old to start over

I am too unsure of what to do next

I am too stubborn to compromise

I am too proud to ask for help

I am too angry to let it go

I am too depressed to look for work

I am too overwhelmed by everything

I am too scared of failing (rejection)

I am too tired to commit

I am too young and inexperienced

I am too shy, timid, bashful

I am too ---------------- (fill-in-the-blank).

Are you too………………………………?

 

*** For more job search and career transition tips, follow me on Twitter.

It's About the "Re's" in My Life

Everything in my life

Starts with a re—

What exactly is going on?

And what is happening to me?

 

The re’s of the world

Are here, there and everywhere

From rebound to revamp to

Restructure and repair.

 

Reboot, reset, reorganize

Reevaluate this and that

Reconsider the strategy

And reduce the corporate fat.

 

Redesign and retool

Reconcile and recommend

Rebuild and rebrand

Will this re- stuff never end?

 

My counselor says to recover

My boss says to resign

My professor says to rediscover

And the tv says to redesign.

 

How can one ever know

Which re- they should pursue

Do you restore your faith in self

When redundancy gets to you?

 

Reenergize, experts will tell you

Refocus, recoup, redo

Readjust your attitude

Realign your view.

 

Recover, rethink, rebuild

Is what a job seeker is coached to do.

What do you need to re-

What re- will work for you?

*With sincere thanks to my client (you know who you are) who made me think (and rethink) about the "re's" of life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

First Impressions and Your Job Hunt

I stared at the wedding reception invitation wondering what on earth I would find to wear to the event which is going to be held at a lovely country club. My clothes fall into two basic categories:  work clothes or go-to-the-garden clothes. I don’t really have fancy dresses or ‘cute’ as my friend says or ‘hot’ as another offers as it relates to clothing descriptors.  Cute – a cat is cute. A puppy is cute, but an outfit? Really? And hot is exactly what my office has been this week – the kind of hot where sweat blocks my thinking or drips down the side of my client’s face. I mean, that is hot! Cute or hot -- whatever -- off to the store!

I begged (bribed) my youngest daughter to go shopping with me for ideas and inspiration. I did so because I spend more time contemplating what book to buy or what flower to add to my garden than I do on clothes shopping. Plus, I needed her feedback and input which was swift and succinct: 

That’s disgusting.

Don’t ever wear that!

Seriously, NO!

That really sucks.

You look like a ________(fill-in-the-blank)  

Grrrrrrrreeeat! My esteem was soaring, along with the 115-degree heat index permeating the dressing room. Hot indeed!

I hope you will have as much fun selecting your job interview attire as I did searching for a dress. A few “Ps” to consider as it relates to appropriate interview attire and your visual presentation:

Professional – Keep your attire professional regardless of the type of position for which you are interviewing. If the Hiring Manager thinks you’re dressed for the club instead of the conference room, you will be remembered for all the wrong reasons. Project a business-like appearance.

Perfumes/Fragrances/Colognes – If the employer can ‘smell you before they see you’, you may give them a headache – seriously!  Be remembered for your sense, not your scents!

Pressed / Polished – A few years ago, a colleague and I were retained to screen / interview three top-level candidates for a VP Sales vacancy. One of the candidates we both really liked kept telling us he was ‘a fanatic about details’. When he stood up to remove his suit jacket, his designer shirt was ironed only on the front – the balance of the shirt was full of wrinkles. His shoes were scuffed and dull. Right – details.

Practice – Whatever attire you select for the big day, wear it in advance. Execute a dress rehearsal. Do a trial run. The most beautiful new pumps in the world will do you in if you have to walk nine blocks off the El stop to your interview in downtown Chicago (or wherever).

Presentation – Carefully evaluate yourself from top-to-toe. As the saying goes:

"You never get a second chance to make a good first impression."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Teleprompters

Where is that teleprompter when you need it? Wouldn’t it be nice to have a teleprompter accompany you to that next job interview? You know, a teleprompter that would tell you exactly what to say at just the right moment? The kind of teleprompter that would help you avoid guesswork, help you not shoot from the hip, help you know exactly what to say and when to say it?  Wouldn’t that be cool? Reality, though, is that a job search doesn’t come equipped with a teleprompter app.

This morning, my client and I spent the better part of our session together working on what to say to someone when you would like to connect with them or interview with them. Now, if you are a smooth talker and you find it easy to string words together, have no qualms about meeting new people because you already excel at that task, and asking others for help comes naturally….well, you’re lucky.

If, on the other hand, you are like many of my clients – it is often hard, difficult, frustrating and challenging (did I mention a lot of work?) to learn how to speak about yourself and your brand. Here are a few ideas my client and I explored together today:

Script your message.

What specifically would you like to convey about yourself to your audience? Whatever it is, write it down. Do not focus on writing a masterpiece or writing text with perfection. Simply jot notes, thoughts and ideas about yourself to support your candidacy for a particular job.

Think Tweet:  Less is More.

Carefully review your text for keywords. Few hiring managers, regardless of how patient they may be, want to listen to a candidate ramble on and on and on and on and on about themselves. Identify the essence of the message you wish to share with your listeners, and delete all other words. Focus on key points only. Delete verbiage that bears no brand relevance. Less is more.

Practice Alone.

Stand before a mirror in a quiet place where you feel relaxed and comfortable.  If you can’t stand being in your living room because of the sweltering heat, go find a more comfortable place conducive to practice without distraction. Then, practice at least 25 times what it is you wish to say. Notice how you need to look at your notes less and less as you practice more and more.

Practice with a Neutral Third Party.

Once you have executed your own practice session(s), find someone who will listen to your conversation, presentation or speech – someone who will be objective and fair in their feedback and someone whose opinion you respect. Invite them to share three aspects of your interview presentation that you did well, and a couple of things to enhance. The more you practice, the more confident you may begin to feel. And also, remember to

Smile

Breathe

Pause

Slow Down

Convey Warmth and Confidence

Deliver When It Counts.  The next time you get a chance to go to an interview, do your best! Let the hiring manager see you shine! Rock out! Knock ‘em dead! Break a leg! No longer will you be a job candidate who does their practice with a decision-maker. Take note of how you are managing your responses to tough questions. Take note of how you respond to the FAQs “Tell Me About Yourself’ or “Why should I hire you?” Consider implementing the above steps into your career management / marketing conversations to build your confidence level.

Evaluate for Excellence – Never get too comfortable or too overly confident in your interview presentation– that could well be your un-doing. Stay sharp, stay-on point, stay alert, stay humble. Consider how you might enhance your next presentation and always strive for continuous improvement.

 

 

In the Trenches With the Unemployed, Anyone, Anyone?

In the 1986 hit movie, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, there is a line that the economics teacher keeps repeating as he is trying to teach his class. The teacher keeps quizzing his students with the tired refrain of ‘anyone, anyone’ to which no one replies. Fast forward to early June 2011 in my office when a client said these words to me:

Is anyone listening to the plight of we the people with no jobs…anyone, anyone?

Though I still don’t know exactly what I want to say, I have wanted to write this post for a while. Usually, I write an educational, motivational or inspirational blog post in minutes – this one (I’m not sure what kind of –al I can affix to it) has been percolating for several days, even weeks. So, I decided to let it flow and however the words roll out, that’s how the post will go. I hope that even one little shred of what I write might strike a chord with anyone, anyone?

As a career management professional, I would love to be so confident arrogant glib as to suggest that I know what to tell you, the person who hasn’t had a job in nine months, 12 months, 18 months, 24 months, or 36 months and beyond, precisely what to do to find one. Actually, I have no clue. I have no clue because I really, really don’t know and quite frankly, I would love to meet the person who claims to know the answers and the solution to this unemployment fix we’re in. Anyone, anyone?

In my 25+ years in the career management industry, I have taken great pains to develop an expansive base of knowledge about the subject of job search. And I have consistently continued to expand that knowledge given my passion for excellence in educating and training job seekers to become efficient and expeditious in landing that next job.  I have studied well…I am a ‘life-long’ learner; I have focused deeply. I have listened intently, I have cared much and served well and I continue to do all of the above…learn, listen, care, focus, and serve. I know more tips, tricks and tactics about job search than you can shake a stick at, so my friends say.

I have written books to help job seekers find jobs. I have blogged and tweeted ad naseum about the subject of careers and job search. I have counseled many, many unemployed people from all walks of life and at all levels of the corporate ladder. That said, sometimes I feel like the words I am saying -- the last few months in particular --  sound shallow, hollow, and empty when it comes to the many unemployed workers.

Do you know what to say to the unemployed, super-talented, well-educated workers with stellar track records of achievement, accomplishment and contribution who haven’t had an interview in over a year, anyone, anyone? Do you know what to say to the unemployed entry-level clerk or the unemployed middle-aged, mid-level manager about what to do to find a job when they have already done all of the ‘right’ things they are ‘supposed to do’ to find a job, anyone, anyone?” Hang in there sounds hollow. Keep your chin up sounds lame. You’ll be fine doesn’t begin to sound credible. Don’t cry over spilled milk doesn’t cut it.

Is anyone listening to the guy who is losing his house because both he and his wife lost their decent-paying jobs, anyone, anyone? Is anyone listening to the single Mom who has 50 grand in college debt, three kids, and no job because it was merged, anyone, anyone? Is anyone listening to the first-generation college grad who went to school thanks to his parent’s second-mortgaged home, and now the home is in foreclosure and the kid with the degree can’t find a j-o-b, anyone, anyone? Is anyone listening to the unemployed people who now find themselves taking multiple medications (which they can’t afford) to cope with the depression and anxiety of being jobless for an extended period of time, anyone, anyone? What words would you choose to console the out-of-work client who claims they’re worth more dead than alive, anyone, anyone?

What might you say to the unemployed person in America today, anyone, anyone?

 

The Cab Driver and Cleola's Brownies

The young woman in her early 20’s accompanied by her baby boomer mother and grandmother knocked at the home of an elderly lady, a lady she had never met before in her life. The lady came to the door and the young woman said, "I came by to tell you that your son used to be my cab driver. I am sorry he is gone – he was always so nice to me."

You could see the tears growing in the elderly woman’s eyes…."please come in" she signaled. The young woman, mother and grandmother all entered and took a seat in the living room.

"So you knew my son," the woman inquired?

"Yes, I can only drive to my job from March to November – I’m not supposed to drive in the bad weather. I am special needs. That’s why I would take the cab and that’s how I met your son."

"Did you know your son always made sure I got to work on time?"

"Did you know your son was always nice to me?"

"Did you know your son always made me laugh?"

"He sure knew how to talk a lot – and he was really funny."

"And he would always park in the driveway and call me on my cell phone to let me know he was here waiting for me."

Her son, a highly successful sales executive had retired early and for something to do, had started driving a cab to ‘pass some time.’ Turns out, she said to the young woman, he told me it was "the best job he ever had." The elderly woman spoke lovingly about "her boy" she had lost in the Fall of 2010.  

"You know what he loved?" said the elderly woman to the young one -- he loved brownies! "in fact, this week-end, I will be baking some nine dozen of them to share with the guys he used to play football with and some of his fraternity brothers who are coming in to town this week-end for a golf tournament. Nine dozen. Going to be baking them tomorrow."

The baby boomer mother of the young woman wondered aloud "Is this a secret recipe or something you can pass along?" Together, they all went to the kitchen and line by line, the recipe was dictated and re-recorded on a new index card:

Cleola’s Brownies - Makes: Best  (be sure to say the Makes Best part!)

350 degrees – 20-25 minutes (though Cleola only bakes them about 18 mnts. usually)

~ Combine 2 C. sugar + ½ C. cocoa

~ Add 1 ¼ C. oil

~ Beat by hand – one at a time: 5 eggs (be sure to do this part just like it says)

~ Add: 1 ½ C. flour

~ Add 1 tsp. salt

~ Add 1 tsp. vanilla

~ Nuts: optional

Put in jelly roll pan. "Now the funny thing about this recipe is that there's no soda -- no soda! I think it must be the eggs that makes them the best....yes, it must be the eggs"....

Armed with one new recipe and one new friend, the young woman collected a hug from the Cab Driver's Mother and then announced it was time to go. Maybe she and her mother will whip up some of Cleola’s Brownies tomorrow, too.

For more job search and career transition tips, follow me on Twitter.